Dad: if you were to get pregnant today, who would be the father?
Me: that wouldn’t happen because no guy wants to impregnate me and I’m unlikelable
Dad: well, you’ve got a point

Got my glasses! Yay! 😊 #icanseeclearlynow #therainisgone #icanseeallobstaclesinmyway

Got my glasses! Yay! 😊 #icanseeclearlynow #therainisgone #icanseeallobstaclesinmyway

It’s after midnight…

Why the fuck can’t I sleep?

Hi, I’m Chris Pratt. I’ve been challenged by Bob Iger and Vincent D’Onofrio to do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Gentlemen, I accept your challenge. Uh, now, that’s twice I’ve been challenged, so I’m gonna do it slightly different. Instead of doing one bucket of ice, what I’m going to do… I found this, it’s called Blue Ice Vodka and in lieu of the bucket of ice, I’ll be drinking this. (x)

(via mimiisaunicorn)



are you ever in the middle of saying something or showing someone something and you realize that literally no one cares 

I’ve literally stopped talking mid-word in a story and no one has noticed.

(via straight-and-fast-is-the-way-out)


but it really is so important to find people who don’t lose patience with you or get angry if you’re being irrational or insecure or downright ridiculous, it is so so necessary to be treated with gentleness from loved ones and not to be made to feel like you’re irritating or a burden

(via straight-and-fast-is-the-way-out)


no one ever likes me as much as i like them 

(via straight-and-fast-is-the-way-out)